Save Me
by the best slytherclaw
Summary: I wanted to be prefect. Turns out I already was. I wanted him to love me. Turns out he already did. James S. P. X OC


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling does. I only own Lexi**

He looked at me for the first time and it felt amazing. It was like I could breathe again. I felt pretty. I felt happy. I felt healthy. In that moment, I realized that I didn't need to be perfect to get his attention. I just needed to be me. I walked around with those girls that gossiped and dieted and wore way too much makeup. I was one of them. I was insecure and I thought those things could help me. I thought I needed to lose weight. I started dieting but it soon progressed into much more than that. I became anorexic and nearly killed myself for what? For perfection, to impress society, for a guy? The thought of it rendered me speechless as he made his way over to me. I couldn't think of anything to say. I had transformed into a completely different person. I even resorted to dying my hair blonde in an attempt to be noticed. I made mistakes. I made choices that I should never have made and that I wouldn't have made if I knew what I was doing. I let fear and irrationality drive me insane. I let it consume me until I couldn't see straight. I let it distort reality into what I thought society saw me as. I let my hunger for acceptance and normalcy overpower my logical thinking and sense of self-righteousness. I let my body get away from me. I let it be controlled by pressure from my peers. I lost control. Ever since I was a little girl, the thing I feared most was losing control. Losing control of my actions, my thoughts, my body and my opinions. I was terrified that I would become swallowed by the sadness and desperation that followed me everywhere I went. No matter where I was, I couldn't escape the reality I had painted for myself. I thought he would like it. I thought that I could catch his eye by erasing what I was and becoming something new. Something perfect. Except my body fought me. It didn't want to lose the weight I wanted to. It reacted horribly to my lack of food intake. I stopped being active. I used to be that girl that was annoyingly happy and healthy, the one who always was running and doing pushups and curl ups and always sported a smile. I no longer was that girl though. I stopped running. I stopped going outside altogether. I never worked out. I was never happy and never smiled. It's been two and a half years since I have truly laughed and been happy. It took me two and a half years of being miserable before I gave up on perfection and decided to be me. And I couldn't be happier.

"Lexi, you back" James said. And that was all it took for me to run over to him and throw my arms around my neck. I missed my friend. I missed him more than I had ever thought I would. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me in the air. I looked down and saw a smile on his face. I smiled back and for the first time in what felt like ages, which it had been, I laughed. I laughed at how ridiculous I was being. I laughed at how horrible and unrealistic society's standards are. I laughed at how stupid I was for thinking he could like me if I changed. I laughed because I had gone to extreme lengths to get what was already mine. My name is Lexi Pearce and James Potter is my best friend. But I hoped he would be more. James started laughing with me and put me back on the ground, letting me stand on my own two feet. He never let me go though. He held onto me as we laughed.

"I never left James." I said while wiping tears out of my eyes. That wiped the smile right off his face and he changed in demeanor so quickly that it was like he was never laughing.

"Yes you did Lex. You left and became something so unlike you that I didn't even recognize you. You drove yourself insane and to near death. I missed you Lexi. I missed your laugh. I missed your smile. I missed your witty comebacks. I missed how you would always tell me not to pull a prank and then roll your eyes when I did anyway. I missed the way your eyes lit up as I walked into the room. I missed the Lexi that I love. I love her wavy red hair and her bright blue eyes. I love how she is never at a loss of words around me. I love how she can make me feel like I'm the only bloke in the room when she's surrounded by them. I love the way she makes me feel and the way that she can make me act differently than anyone else. I love her with all my heart. I love you Lexi with all my heart. I missed you so much that it hurt more than the cruciatus curse to look at you and what you became. I missed you Lexi and I would do anything to get you back. And now you are." James confessed, his eyes never leaving mine. Not even once. I started to cry and not from mirth. Instantly James' arms were around me and I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I am so sorry James. I missed you too, more than anything. I love you James Potter. I love you so much. I thought the only way I would ever get your attention is if I became perfect. I realize now that that was stupid because there would be no point in making you care about me if I didn't even care about myself. God I was miserable. I am so glad to be back. You have no idea." I finished, still crying into his shoulder.

"You could never lose my attention even if you wanted to Lexi Pearce. I love you and I want you to always be mine. Please don't ever do that to yourself again. Promise?" James asked, pulling back to look me in the eyes. I gave him a watery smile.

"I promise"

And I meant it. I am never going to do that to myself again. I didn't need to. I had everything a girl could wish for and more. I had friends who liked me, a family who loved me, and James Potter. I didn't need to diet or dress differently. I just needed to be me, and that was what I planned on doing from now on. I don't need to change to get a guy; I just need to believe in who I am. If a guy didn't like me for me, then too bad for him. I got lucky. I got James. He saved me from the depths of my own decisions. He made me whole again. He made me smile again. He made me breathe again. And that was all I needed.

**Thank you to anyone who read this. Please review! I would love to hear your opinions!**

**Author's Note: So I got this idea reading another story. The point I was trying to convey was that you don't need to be perfect to be happy. Society has messed up standards and a ridiculous defintion of "perfect". The truth is that there is no perfect. Everyone has little flaws that make them their own person. Nobody should need to change to impress someone else. If you want to change, do it for yourself so you can feel confident and healthy. Your fine the way you are and don't let anyone tell you any different. **


End file.
